Limiting Beliefs - You Are What You Believe You Are

By Ray Bertani

All through our early childhood we were busy adopting and internalizing beliefs, some good, some not so good, some down right destructive. We all have beliefs. If there is one thing that can be generalized to be universally true, it is that everybody has a set of beliefs and assumptions. These beliefs and assumptions are ingrained within us with an almost unbreakable bond. We defend these beliefs with tenacity and vigor, and why wouldn't we...they're our beliefs...and they're true. Or are they? These beliefs have become so ingrained in every cell of our bodies that they affect every aspect of our lives, our relationships, our health, our financial position, our self image and so on. Some of these beliefs were installed in us by others, some we installed ourselves through our perceived historical reality. The fact of the matter is for a belief to become a belief we have to accept it. Where our beliefs stem from, although interesting, is ultimately not important.

What's important is what these beliefs are, because whatever they are, they are true...for us. If we believe that life is a struggle, it's because life is a struggle, if we believe that money is hard to come by, it's because money is hard to come by, if we believe we are not worthy, it's because we are not worthy, if we believe that happiness is just around the corner, then happiness will always be just around the corner. We will challenge almost everything at one point or another, we will most definitely challenge other people's beliefs, but we allow our beliefs, for the most part, to go unchallenged.

When you have a belief, that belief may as well be set in stone and you will gather evidence to support it at every turn. If your belief is that you are not destined to have the finer things in life and that every dollar you earn will be through the sweat of your brow, then you will no doubt find an endless source of examples to prove your theory, further strengthening your belief. Adversely, if your belief is that money comes to you easily and effortlessly, then you will find evidence to support that theory. It goes back to focus. Human Beings are creatures of deletion, we notice what we are focused on and delete the rest. As a result, it just follows that you cannot change your focus without first changing your beliefs.

Our limiting beliefs are sometimes fairly obvious to us, these are the "surface level surface beliefs." Much like an ice berg, the beliefs that we are aware of are merely the tip of the iceberg, the majority of our beliefs are below the surface, outside of our everyday awareness. To make headway you must become aware of your own limiting beliefs and address those that are causing you to continually sabotage your progress.

Finding your "below the surface" limiting beliefs can be a tricky process as they are usually well guarded by your subconscious mind, which is quite content to keep you in your comfort zone. But to progress past whatever blocks your progress you must leave the comfort zone and to do this you must be aware of your limiting beliefs.

One way to identify your limiting beliefs is to think of an area or goal that you are having difficulty in achieving. It may be your losing weight, quitting smoking or from a business perspective, reaching your departmental sales quota or achieving your budget consistently . You find yourself making progress just to relapse into old habits or lose any incremental gains that you have made along the way. More than likely, somewhere deep inside is a limiting belief that needs to be addressed before you can see sustainable improvement and ultimate success. For example: let's say you have a goal to become the top salesman in the company, but deep inside you have a limiting belief that "you are not capable or smart enough," What chance do you have of accomplishing your goal? Not much. Before you can even think of achieving your goal, you must deal with the limiting belief.

The power of belief was taught to me fairly early on in life, although it took years for me to actually take that lesson to heart and learn to apply it to other areas of my life. When I was in high school, I was on the wrestling team. I was fourteen years old. During one of our practices, the coach stopped the drill and spoke to the team about self confidence and mental preparation for matches. He pulled me up to the front of the room where there was a universal gym set up with a bench press. He asked me how much I could bench press. I told him 135 pounds. He replied, " are you sure that you can't bench more than that, is that the most you'veever lifted?" " I'm positive," I replied. He then proceeded to take the pin out of the weights, he told me he was going to start me off at 100 pounds and then increase the weight 10 pounds a lift until I surpassed by own personal record of 135 pounds. At this point I was lying on the bench looking up at the ceiling and holding onto the bars. I heard the pin being inserted into the weight and got ready to lift the 100 pounds. I wasn't worried I new I could lift a 100 pounds, I had done it many times. I planted my feet on the floor, took a deep breath and lifted the weight. My coach excused me from the front, thanked me for assisting him. This confused me immensely as I was expecting to do several lifts. The coach went on for another few minutes about the importance of our mental state and our performance on the wrestling mat. He was just about ready to dismiss us when all of a sudden he stopped and said, "Oh by the way" he looked in my direction, "you just bench pressed a 160 pounds." At first I thought he was kidding. I walked to the back of the bench press and looked at the position of the pin and sure enough it was in the 160 pound slot. I couldn't believe it. Neither could the other guys on the team. From that day on I could lift 160 easily even though I could never do it before. Why? I hadn't gotten any stronger. I didn't eat any spinach.

The answer is simple. My belief had changed. Had I been aware that I was attempting to lift 160 pounds, my conscious mind would have no doubt begun to sabotage my effort based on my belief that I can't lift 160 pounds. My self talk would have kicked in, "I can't lift this weight, I've never done this before, I'm not strong enough, I'll be humiliated, and what if I hurt myself?" With these thoughts and beliefs would I have been able to lift the weight...absolutely not. Conversely, I new I could lift a hundred pounds; I had done it on numerous occasions. My belief was that I could lift the weight easily. Failure wasn't even an option. The funny thing is that lifting the weight wasn't even that much of a struggle. I remember thinking that I must be getting sick or something because it took a little more effort than I thought it should have. The next day I lifted 175 pounds simply because I lifted the 160 pounds with only a little extra effort, I believed that I could do more. I was right. This came about because of a shift in my beliefs. That was the only difference.

Whether you believe you can or you believe you can't...your right.

It is important to note that all limiting beliefs are in fact limiting decisions that we havemade early on in life. Something happened, we observed something or something was said to us and we gave it a meaning, accepted it and decided that it was true. From that point on it became a belief because we decided that it was true...life is hard...getting older means getting weak and sickly...money is hard to come by...money is the root of all evil...I'm not smart enough...I'll never amount to much...I'm worthless...people don't like me... life is unfair...people can't be trusted, people will are basically lazy and so on and so on and so on. Realizing that we decided to accept these beliefs again puts us at cause in the cause and effect formula, which puts us in the power position, because if we can cause, or decide, something, then we can un-cause, or un-decide, something.

Limiting beliefs are like weeds; left unattended they can take over and destroy your garden. The only way to save your garden is to diligently and mercilessly destroy the weeds while at the same time nurturing the flowers in our garden. You cannot be nonchalant about limiting beliefs; you must seek them out and destroy them utterly and with extreme prejudice. You have the power to achieve things you never dreamed possible but to do so you must change your beliefs. The only time Action precedes Belief is in the dictionary. The starting point is always your beliefs.

Once you have discovered your limiting beliefs, you must challenge them and consciously reject them at every opportunity. There must be no doubt in your mind that you are not limited in a way shape or form. No one is better than you, nor are you better than anyone else. All of us have all the resources necessary to achieve our wildest dreams. Eliminate any belief that tells you otherwise. Do so as you would challenge any belief that you know is false. If someone came up to you and stated that they believed that the world was flat, how vigorously would you challenge that belief? The belief that you are limited in any way is every bit as ludicrous as the belief that the world is flat. Challenge it in the same manner.

Ray Bertani is a Human Resources Consultant, Public Speaker and Leadership and Personal development Trainer and Coach. He is the Managing Director and Founder of "Cura Solutions", a Professional and Personal Development firm located in the Metro Vancouver area of British Columbia, Canada, dedicated to helping great people achieve their potential.

Cura Personal Developement Solutions prides itself on adding significant and lasting value to each and every client it serves. For more information on how "Cura Solutions" can help you achieve your dreams, visit them at www.curasolutions.ca click on the personal development icon.

If you would like to inquire about Cura's Coaching and Training Programs or book Ray to speak at your next Corporate or Association Conference or Event, he can be reached by email at ray@curasolutions.ca or by phone at 604-802-4490 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 604-802-4490 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

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