Children Home Alone
Advice for Parents with Home-Alone Children
By Joanne B. Parrotta
Due to today’s economic demands, in many families — even two-parent families — both parents work. As a result, thousands of parents leave their children home alone on a daily basis. These parents feel that they have no choice but to be absent from their home. After-school care is often difficult to find, and can be too costly for many. This means that many children are left unsupervised.
However, there are many potential risks and dangers that parents must consider before placing their children in this situation. The following example, although extreme, demonstrates these possible hazards.
Tanisha Gill was a 23-year-old, single mother of two young boys who had just managed to get off welfare and start a new job. Nervous about losing her job, Gill made an unsound choice to go to work when her babysitter called in sick, leaving her young children to fend for themselves. She returned home to discover that her 2-year-old son had fallen to his death from the ninth-floor balcony just minutes before. She was arrested and charged with involuntary manslaughter. (as reported by CBS News, November 25, 2003)
What many parents fail to realize is that lack of supervision is one of the most prevalent child-neglect problems today. Being home alone can have harmful effects on the physical and psychological development and well-being of these latchkey children (latchkey refers to a house key strung around the child’s neck, and is used to refer to children who spend unsupervised time at home). Debra Mayer, a communication officer with the Manitoba Child Care Association, states, “Some latchkey children experience exaggerated fears, chronic loneliness, depression and poor academic achievement.” Mayer believes that parents must weigh these factors against the cost of child care, whether in a licensed facility or provided by a paid neighbor.
When is it right to leave your child home alone? Deciding when your child is old enough to be left home unsupervised can be nerve wracking. When making this very important decision you should keep in mind that, while the age at which children can be legally left alone varies from province to province and state to state, in many areas it is illegal to leave children under 10 years of age unattended. In most Canadian provinces, children under the age of 12 cannot be left without suitable supervision or left to care for younger children. Children 12 or older may normally be left alone or left to care for younger children for no longer than two hours. Check the laws in your area to be sure.
Is your child ready to stay home alone? This is an extremely important question and the answer depends on more than your child’s age; his or her maturity level should be taken into consideration, as well as past evidence of responsibility and good judgment and ability to follow directions. Keep in mind that teens and preteens are just as likely to get into trouble as younger children (for example, with drugs, sex, and alcohol). All school-aged children are safer when supervised by a responsible adult.
Before leaving your children alone, you must talk with them about problems that might come up, and develop a safety plan. Make sure your child has the basic skills he or she needs to feel comfortable and be safe. It can be helpful to enroll in a home-alone training program that teaches children how to take care of themselves and be safe when they are alone.
The Canada Safety Council has published At Home on My Own, a booklet for children 10 years and older, which focuses on how to prevent problems, handle real-life situations, and stay safe and constructively occupied while home alone. To obtain a copy, visit their website at http://www.safety-council.org/info/child/alone.html or email them for more information at canadasafetycouncil@safety-council.org.
The Canada Safety Council’s advises that before leaving your child alone, you do the following:
§ Set firm rules, with clear do’s and don’ts.
§ Prepare your child to deal with situations that may arise.
§ Specify how his or her time is to be spent.
§ Keep in touch; if you’re hard to reach, get a mobile phone or pager.
§ Make sure your home is safe and secure.
§ Limit the time your child is home alone.
§ Ensure your child can always reach someone to help in an emergency.
In order to help your child stay safe, take the following steps:
§ List important phone numbers by each phone.
§ Make sure locks on all window and doors are secured.
§ Check that all smoke alarms in your home are in working order.
§ Establish an escape plan in case of fire. Make sure that your child is able to open doors and/or windows in case he or she needs to evacuate the house.
§ Make sure your hot-water heater is set below 54°C to prevent scalding.
§ Store matches, lighters, medication, and other dangerous or toxic substances in a safe place.
§ Give your child a list of things to do after school, such as having a healthy snack that does not require using the stove, doing homework, working on a craft, reading a book and so on.
§ Give your child the feeling that he or she is being supervised even though you aren’t there. Have a trusted neighbor or close friend or relative check on him or her and act as an emergency contact. This person should also be given a spare key in case your child loses his or her key.
Teach your child to do the following:
§ Always lock the door and make sure his or her house key is in a safe place.
§ Call you as soon as he or she gets home.
§ Never have anyone over unless a responsible adult is home.
§ Use the phone only for emergencies so that you can get through when you call.
§ Never go outside to play unless a responsible adult is home.
§ Never tell anyone who calls that he or she is home alone. Tell your child to say that you are not available right now and ask the caller to call back later or leave a message.
§ Never enter the home if something seems suspicious, like a broken window or an open door. Tell your child to go to a trusted neighbor’s home to call you at work right away.
By educating ourselves about potential risks and remedies and by communicating with our children, we can work together to keep our families safe, healthy and happy.
Resources:
Safe Kids B.C. Child Abuse Prevention: www.safekidsbc.ca
Parent Support Services of B.C.: www.parentsupportbc.ca
Safe Kids
SafeKids (
Safe Kids Worldwide: http://www.safekids.org
Joanne B. Parrotta is a published motivational writer and author of Baby & You: The Little Book of Mother and Baby Care (WiseAdviceBooks, 2008). Parrotta has written six books and many articles dealing with topics such as parenting, spirituality, relationships, natural health, and nutrition. To learn more about Joanne and her publications, visit www.wiseadvicebooks.com.