Failure - What's it to You? Seeing Failure For What it Is - Feedback!
By Ray Bertani
What is Failure to you?
I have a pretty good idea of what you have been conditioned to think failure is. That's not my question. My question is what is failure to you? You define it. You decide what to call failure. There was a time in my life when I defined almost everything I did as failure, in one way or another. Nothing I did was good enough, even my successes were failures. There was also a time in my life when I allowed everyone around me to influence my opinions and actions based on their world view. I know longer do that. You don't have to either. You decide how you are going to define failure. I'll give you my definition (again this is my definition and not meant to apply to you), failure to me is anything that you "could have been or could have done... but didn't because you were to fearful to take the risk." The business you wanted to start but didn't because you were scared of failing, the career you wanted to have but didn't because it seemed out of your reach, the person you wanted to ask out but didn't because, you thought you would get rejected. Failure to me is looking back and having regrets about not doing something. Warren Buffet, investor extraordinaire and one of the richest men in the world, once said that the only investment decisions that he regrets are the stocks he didn't buy and companies he didn't invest in. In other words he didn't regret the investments he made that had lost money; he only regretted the ones he didn't act on and that went on to be huge successes. Failure is not in the doing and not succeeding, failure is in the not doing.
Here are some other definitions of failure that may help you come up with your own.
- Failure is acting incongruently with ones values and purpose in life.
- Failure is the price you pay for future success.
- Failure is giving up before you achieve your desired outcome.
- Failure is in not learning from past experience.
- Failure is feedback
Why not define failure as feedback. When a child takes his first steps and falls, do we stop encouraging them to try again? Do we say, "oh well you gave it a shot, nice try, now just stay down so you won't get hurt" no, of course not. We celebrate their first steps and each fall along the way because each additional step and subsequent fall will ensure their eventual success. They did not fail to walk, they're learning to walk. Yet when we fall down, we call ourselves failures. We beat ourselves up. As the child learns with every failed attempt at walking, so should we. Failure is not the end; it is a temporary and inevitable part of our overall success. It is an important part of the process, not the end of the process.
Edison identified over 1000 materials that were not good filaments for a light bulb before he found one that worked. Clint Eastwood was fired from his studio because his Adams Apple was too big. Decca records rejected the Beatles and deemed them to have no future in music. "Chicken Soup for the Soul" was rejected by dozens of publishers before finally being accepted for publication and becoming one of the best-selling series of books of all time.
Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. Instead of getting angry, frustrated, sad, worried or depressed, none of which will serve any useful purpose, ask yourself some useful questions... What can I learn from this? What do I need to change? What will I do the same? What worked? What didn't? Then pat yourself on the back and move ahead enthusiastically because you have just taken a giant step toward success.
"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." -- Henry Ford
Success and failure go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. Success brings instant gratification and failure brings delayed gratification sometimes on a much grander scale than initial success. In every life, no matter how charmed it may seem, there will always be setbacks. The sooner you accept that the better off you'll be. The sooner you put them in perspective, the sooner they will lead you to success. Just like when you were a child, as long as you get up after each fall, you haven't failed.
Ray Bertani is a Corporate Consultant, Public Speaker and Leadership and Personal development Trainer and Coach. He is the Managing Director and Founder of "Cura Solutions", a Leadership and Personal Development firm located in the Metro Vancouver area of British Columbia, Canada, dedicated to helping great people and great organizations achieve their potential. His first book, "Breaking The DEAL" Renegotiating Your Deal With Life, is due for completion by January of 2010.
For more information on how "Cura Solutions" can help you achieve your potential, visit them at www.curasolutions.ca.
If you would like to inquire about Cura's Coaching and Training Programs or book Ray to speak at your next Corporate or Association Conference or Event, he can be reached by email at ray@curasolutions.ca or by phone at 604-802-4490 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 604-802-4490 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ray_Bertani
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